Why is my dad so mean to me? He doesn't support me and hurts my feelings!??
Question: I'm 19, and I have had depression since I was like BORN. my parents are still together but I have always felt as if they don't understand me whatsoever. I know im still young and all but like tonight, I took home 4 ten day old kittens that needed to be bottle fed during the night, and my dad freaked out. They are going to be here for like TEN hours, and are sleeping for 9 hours. He was like WE DONT WANT THEM HERE! and just completely hurt my feelings. It made me feel so stupid for even trying. ANd every time I bring stuff up to him he just claims i feel sorry for myself. Why cant he just support me and above all respect me? He never lets me explain myself, he jumps to conclusions, and never wants to help anyone else out. I remember, when I was little, every time i'd be upset and crying he'd laugh and make fun of me. i think he's a main factor in my depression. anyone have any other ideas? THanks.
Answers: I'd feel the same if i am on your shoes. but have you ever tried to ask some help from your mother? i know she could help too since you said that they are not separated(just do ask her if your mom and dad are alright/not fighting).. have you got any siblings?? if yes, make him, or at least your mother feel that you're lacking their support. spend less time at home so your father can't make fun of you or what. try to tell him how you feel in many ways. write a letter at first... then see his reactions IF he read it, then if that don't work, maybe ask some help from your friends.. like do a phonecall, let your friend talk to your dad BUT do not tell your dad that your friend is talking to him... let your friend know what she's supposed to tell.
... i think i've got some more to tell... sorry if you get confused in what i wrote..
pls other ppl answering, don't put all the blame up on her. or pls try to answer in a nice way.. i've been in a similar situation and her situation is much difficult.If my father is like hers, I'd better be not born. its like taking all your privileges or rights.. please understand :)
are you kidding me, kittens, $h!t i would've told you the same
Your parents don't always act how they should. If talking to him doesn't help, then you should get away from him. You are 19, so you are old enough to move out.
Blaming your father for your depression will not solve the problem. I suggest you move out on your own. Then there will be nobody to yell at you and treat you like yesterday's dirt. Of course it is your parent's house, and you should have asked them if it was ok...Maybe you should apologize to him for bringing them in without asking if it was ok....
sounds like he's an @sshole..my dad is too..I love him because he's my dad..but i dont like him..if he were just some person..i wouldn't be his friend.
I'm a father of five sons and he sounds like an asshole. He doesn't have a good self image and I'll bet not much education. He seems to have an inferiority complex and I will also bet he doesn't read much. He is poorly educated, a bully, unfeeling, and a bad father. I feel sorry for your situation. Hopefully you will meet a nice guy who will compliment you and treat you nice and help you get that dink out of your life. When you are gone and never contact him any more he will wish he hadn't been such an asshole all the time you wer growing up.
Well, I think that maybe you are old enough to get your own place. You are at a time where you've already been raised , but to your parents that's not exactly the truth, they think they have to be over you all the time. I know helping the kittens is something really good, they're so cute and defenseless; but you should have asked your parents if you could bring them home, it's not your house, it's theirs, you just happen to live there. Try next time talking things over, don't try to handle things your way, you always have to know there's more people involved. Look back in your life and try to find a pattern in every moment you've had a discussion with your parents, when you find it, you'll be able to brake that pattern and make things better. Think positive, that always helps, I know you suffer from depression, but I do to, and believe me, thinking positive and God, is what has helped me out of depression. Also, when you're going to do or say something, think: who can be hurt by this? , then, is in your hands if you do it or not. God bless you, I hope this helps.
what's wrong with kids these days?
they just blaming their parents for every thing.
you must be thankful that he let you stay in his home and support you when you are already 19.
believe me ,kittens are growing up fast and one kitten is = lots of hard work and trouble
4 of them ,i can't imagine how many times a day you have to clean the litter box........
parents are not for ever, one they ..........
and they never come back.
so love them and enjoy being with them.
Your Dad said no. That was disappointing to you, wasn't it? When we are disappointed, it feels like we are blocked. But the truth is, we are left with many other paths to take. Hmmm...what are they?
1. Accept his answer. Accept his No.
2. Having done this, you've learned an important social skill. You are now free to pursue other courses of action.
You are now free to realize that because you accept his answer, you are actually admitting that he is not your only resource. Therefore, his power over you has been mimimalized. He is no longer the big horrible monster in your life. You, because of your reasoning powers can now realize he is just another small creature on this planet. Now, you are the one with the power. You now have the power to pursue one hundred other courses of action that will be good for you and serve you.
3. Now, take a big deep breath, and relax.
4. Make a list of 3 of those 100 things you could possibly do. What are they?
5. Here are some examples:
a. Tell your Dad he is absolutely right, and you're sorry you upset him.
b. Go cuddle the kitties, feed them, love them, and give them all the nurturing that your Dad probably never got in his whole life.
c. Enjoy how cute those little ones are and give them an extra squeeze until you are feeling a little better.
You are a beautiful person. Don't forget the Raffi song:
Oh me oh my, what'll I do? I can't find a lumberjack to pour my milk!!!!!!!
But I know what. So do you. I don't NEED A LUMBERJACK TO POUR MY MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The nice thing is it's true! We are never without resources. We already have everything we need. Embrace your joy. Embrace your power. When you do this, you become radically grateful for the simple gift of living on this planet. Love does exist. Hang on to it with both hands! (And be sure to give it away.)
That's 3 down, and 97 things to go. Use your imagination and do 3 more things you should do that will be good for you and good for everybody. It gets easier, and its gets fun. Trust me.
Mercy
Answers: I'd feel the same if i am on your shoes. but have you ever tried to ask some help from your mother? i know she could help too since you said that they are not separated(just do ask her if your mom and dad are alright/not fighting).. have you got any siblings?? if yes, make him, or at least your mother feel that you're lacking their support. spend less time at home so your father can't make fun of you or what. try to tell him how you feel in many ways. write a letter at first... then see his reactions IF he read it, then if that don't work, maybe ask some help from your friends.. like do a phonecall, let your friend talk to your dad BUT do not tell your dad that your friend is talking to him... let your friend know what she's supposed to tell.
... i think i've got some more to tell... sorry if you get confused in what i wrote..
pls other ppl answering, don't put all the blame up on her. or pls try to answer in a nice way.. i've been in a similar situation and her situation is much difficult.If my father is like hers, I'd better be not born. its like taking all your privileges or rights.. please understand :)
are you kidding me, kittens, $h!t i would've told you the same
Your parents don't always act how they should. If talking to him doesn't help, then you should get away from him. You are 19, so you are old enough to move out.
Blaming your father for your depression will not solve the problem. I suggest you move out on your own. Then there will be nobody to yell at you and treat you like yesterday's dirt. Of course it is your parent's house, and you should have asked them if it was ok...Maybe you should apologize to him for bringing them in without asking if it was ok....
sounds like he's an @sshole..my dad is too..I love him because he's my dad..but i dont like him..if he were just some person..i wouldn't be his friend.
I'm a father of five sons and he sounds like an asshole. He doesn't have a good self image and I'll bet not much education. He seems to have an inferiority complex and I will also bet he doesn't read much. He is poorly educated, a bully, unfeeling, and a bad father. I feel sorry for your situation. Hopefully you will meet a nice guy who will compliment you and treat you nice and help you get that dink out of your life. When you are gone and never contact him any more he will wish he hadn't been such an asshole all the time you wer growing up.
Well, I think that maybe you are old enough to get your own place. You are at a time where you've already been raised , but to your parents that's not exactly the truth, they think they have to be over you all the time. I know helping the kittens is something really good, they're so cute and defenseless; but you should have asked your parents if you could bring them home, it's not your house, it's theirs, you just happen to live there. Try next time talking things over, don't try to handle things your way, you always have to know there's more people involved. Look back in your life and try to find a pattern in every moment you've had a discussion with your parents, when you find it, you'll be able to brake that pattern and make things better. Think positive, that always helps, I know you suffer from depression, but I do to, and believe me, thinking positive and God, is what has helped me out of depression. Also, when you're going to do or say something, think: who can be hurt by this? , then, is in your hands if you do it or not. God bless you, I hope this helps.
what's wrong with kids these days?
they just blaming their parents for every thing.
you must be thankful that he let you stay in his home and support you when you are already 19.
believe me ,kittens are growing up fast and one kitten is = lots of hard work and trouble
4 of them ,i can't imagine how many times a day you have to clean the litter box........
parents are not for ever, one they ..........
and they never come back.
so love them and enjoy being with them.
Your Dad said no. That was disappointing to you, wasn't it? When we are disappointed, it feels like we are blocked. But the truth is, we are left with many other paths to take. Hmmm...what are they?
1. Accept his answer. Accept his No.
2. Having done this, you've learned an important social skill. You are now free to pursue other courses of action.
You are now free to realize that because you accept his answer, you are actually admitting that he is not your only resource. Therefore, his power over you has been mimimalized. He is no longer the big horrible monster in your life. You, because of your reasoning powers can now realize he is just another small creature on this planet. Now, you are the one with the power. You now have the power to pursue one hundred other courses of action that will be good for you and serve you.
3. Now, take a big deep breath, and relax.
4. Make a list of 3 of those 100 things you could possibly do. What are they?
5. Here are some examples:
a. Tell your Dad he is absolutely right, and you're sorry you upset him.
b. Go cuddle the kitties, feed them, love them, and give them all the nurturing that your Dad probably never got in his whole life.
c. Enjoy how cute those little ones are and give them an extra squeeze until you are feeling a little better.
You are a beautiful person. Don't forget the Raffi song:
Oh me oh my, what'll I do? I can't find a lumberjack to pour my milk!!!!!!!
But I know what. So do you. I don't NEED A LUMBERJACK TO POUR MY MILK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The nice thing is it's true! We are never without resources. We already have everything we need. Embrace your joy. Embrace your power. When you do this, you become radically grateful for the simple gift of living on this planet. Love does exist. Hang on to it with both hands! (And be sure to give it away.)
That's 3 down, and 97 things to go. Use your imagination and do 3 more things you should do that will be good for you and good for everybody. It gets easier, and its gets fun. Trust me.
Mercy
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